As it turns out, Katie Neilson is quite possibly the coolest chick in the world. Lets examine the situation going on here.
You all have heard of Robin Hood right? Katie kind of does the same stuff he did, but up in Kanad-E-Uh or however that country’s name is spelled. Kyle Martin is behind her, he is like Katie’s Little John, YEEEAAAAH. In her home country Katie steals from the rich and gives to the poor, much like Robin Hood. But in a country that hasnt quite discovered cars yet, a good getaway is often rather difficult. I think this is the main reason why longboards are so popular up in Kanad-E-Uh. It could be due to all the sick hills there but that just doesnt make as much sense to me.
In this photo, as Katie describes, she robbed some movie star, slapped her in the face, ate a burrito, and then hit up a snake run as her and Kyle’s getaway route. (BY THE WAY KATIE, next time i am up there I want to go to this run- BAD!) Halfway down the run there was a donkey in the way… an effin donkey. Which is the most common type of transport in Kanad-E-Uh but still… a donkey on a snake run… not kosher. Did the number one womens skater in the world let that stop her? Hells no. She handled it like the number one skater in the world… cause, she may as well be the best downhill skater in the world. Our sources confirm that when Skatie Katie was in close enough proximity to the Donkey she straight up pulled a coleman and with her spare hand she threw a fireball at the donkey. Of course the donkey died and now she is facing animal abuse charges but none the less she hooked some broke dudes up with a rich movie stars money. She helped a lost soul out there… and we love Katie for that. If she ever needs to find refuge here in the states we will be glad to help her. That is… if america isnt Mexi-China by then.
Katie, your bravery is noted and if I were the Queen of England, I would Knight you.